Recently, I blogged about this relational issue in Cut Off Genes and Other Fabrications, and return to it because familial ruptures are so common, so hurtful, and so often can be attributed to disordered relationships in an earlier generation that intrude in the current generatons. Here I want to look into just one of an infinite number of possible scenario.
Let's say an adult child is angry with his mother and blames her for his parents' divorce. He has not communicated with her for several months, or even years. He has formed a closer allaince with his father, who he believes has been wronged by the mother. She is not honoured by her son; she cannot directly give him her love. He aligned himself with his father believing his analysis to be correct. He now wants to reconcile with his mother, and has come to a constellation workshop with that strong intention.
At the heart of Family/Systemic Constellations are belonging, order, and balance. Therefore cut offs disrupt all three, causing big emotions and situations that feel hard to come back from. In the case above, the adult son can, through a Constellation, understand that his parents' relationship belongs to them, not him. He will see it with understanding and compassion and feel able to step away from his attempt to isolate his mother, and re-order the family system that put it out of balance. That is a likely outcome or resolution reached in the Constellation process, though it can be more complex if there has been abuse or other factors influencing him or his parents, and it is already complex enough. You are likely able to conjure more scenarios in which someone in a family system is cut off from all or some within it. Perhaps you have cut someone off, or are the person who has been isolated. Step into a Constellaton circle or workshop or a one to one session for a new perspective and a way to heal at a deep and lasting level. Do this without involving others in your system in the work.
One to one sessions are available on weekdays. Two hour workshops currently run on Tuesday evenings; 10-3 workshops on Saturdays. You are welcome. Your 'issues' are welcome. Join me for transformative experiences.
Karen Sole
Karen Sole is a member of the Internatonal Institute for Complementary Therapists, and of the International Systemic Constellations Association (isca-network.org). She took her first training from Yildiz Sethi yildizsethi.com of familyconstellations.com.au . Karen's profile can be found on all three organisational sites.
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